


a hole in my heart (that only you can fill)

by orphan_account



Category: JBJ (Band), Longguo & Shihyun (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 09:10:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15838188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	a hole in my heart (that only you can fill)

It's April 30th and Shihyun knows it's hard on Longguo, so he doesn't try to contact him on that day. In fact, Shihyun didn't try doing so in the past week and he also knows he won't try in the upcoming week as well.

 

It’s his birthday in exactly six days, but he can’t bring himself to be happy about the fact of turning twenty, when the person he wished to celebrate it the most with just got their heart broken by the rushed disbandment. At least he has the cats to keep him company now, and his lovely family of course, so maybe he won’t even feel as lonely on that day as he did in these past few months.

 

-

 

The clock hits midnight and his phone is flooded with congratulatory messages from his friends and family, but not from _him_. Maybe he is a little disappointed, remembering how he waited, with the long paragraphs of text typed in heartedly, his finger hovering over the send button before it struck 12AM on Longguo’s birthday.

 

Even the cats are being especially nice to him as they come to sleep with Shihyun that night, and it makes him smile a little. But later he realises that nothing makes up for the warmth other human being’s body can produce. He falls into dreamland with a slight frown on his pale face and a sigh leaving his lips. He dreams about hot days, fresh watermelon and pretty collarbones with black stains on them.

 

-

 

He wakes up not feeling much different, being twenty now and all that. His older brother takes him out to eat and his stomach fells satisfyingly heavy after that. Shihyun spends the rest of the day with his family, appreciating all the love and praises he receives. He even posts on instagram later; videos of himself when he was just a kid, from when times were all about happiness and tasty candy.

 

Going to bed that night feels oddly weird. Shihyun tucks himself in, closing his eyes and breathing tiredly. Today wasn’t that much different than any other of his usual days in the last weeks, he thinks, recalling past year’s busy and full of life moments. Somehow though it feels strange… Perhaps it is the emptiness that has crawled and embraced all of him in its frigid grip. But to think of it, it’s not like it was so sudden, it’s come to be like this gradually, that not even Shihyun was able to notice it till now, has it all hit him with such force. He tosses and turns, but sleep never comes. What breaks Shihyun out from his only a little pathetic trance is a buzz and sound of an incoming notification.

 

He doesn’t plan on checking it at first, brushing it off as another late happy birthday message or some junk offer, but not being able to drift away into the warm embrace of Morpheus he forces himself to sit up and reaches for his phone laying forgotten on his bed drawer.

 

What greets him however is something completely different; two words he wanted to receive so much, from _who_ he wanted to hear them so bad on this day. Shihyun stares at them as if the bubble that popped up on his screen will disappear if he even as just blinks. When Shihyun can no longer bear the dryness of the air meeting his poor tired eyes he let’s them flutter naturally, but the thirteen letters are still there, in their respective order.

 

**1:30AM**

**From: My Hyung^-^**

Happy birthday

 

And even if they feel obscure and cold it still tugs at his heart and puts the tiniest of smiles on his face. At this point Shihyun’s not even embarrassed to admit all of the ugly thoughts are slowly going away just because of this little amount of affection (if u even can call it that). He will reply with a simple thank you tomorrow; it’s not like he expects a reply anyways.

 

Shihyun falls asleep easily after that though, but it’s not weird for him at all anymore, he knows the reason better than anyone.


End file.
